Secret Lies
by ilovedanisnotonfire
Summary: Dan Howell (danisnotonfire) holds a great secret from his past and his best friend Phil (Amazing Phil) tries to get through to him but fails, when Dan gets ill and faints who knows what will happen...what is this secret? will he be helped before its too late, he may even find love on the way, rated M for some swearing, includes SUICIDE, self harm, rape and beatings, so cheerful :p


**Hey guys, so some of you may of noticed my name change from MASSIVECHIPMUNKFAN to ilovedanisnotonfire...yes...as sad as it sounds i have unfortunately moved on from my once 1 year long obsession with Alvin...i still love them but just not as much THERE'S A NEW OBSESSION NOW! XD so yea...i don't know if i will be carrying on with "Aw Nuts" as some of you have asked and i apologized for that, i should've given you all a bit of a warning really, but like i was mentioning in the past stories...i do have things going on...bad things, just because I've started a new story, doesn't mean thats changed. It's just literally a case that i have moved on, if i do update it...it won't be very often, I'm happy for someone to continue it for me though. So now that's out of the way...here is the first chapter of "Secret Lies"...**

Chapter 1- The Change...

It was a Friday morning which meant it was time for YouTube sensation Dan Howell to plan his next video, with the help of his best friend Phil Lester of course. Phil woke up as usual at 11am but it was weird...this wasn't like any other day, something changed...there was no Dan in the living room playing video games...and this never happens. Phil decided that Dan just needed some extra time in bed, he was up all night anyways... Phil went into the kitchen of their flat and pulled out some pancakes and waffles...he put the full pack of 12 pancakes on the plate and poured 1/4 of a bag of sugar on top and just to top it off, he then squeezed 5 fresh lemons so that the juice was pretty much drowning the pancakes. Phil looked at his creation and a cheeky grin came across on his face.

"Perfect, just how Dan likes them" Phil said with a light laugh after it. Phil took the plate and carried it into the living room and placed the pancakes on the arm of the sofa, usually Phil would wait for Dan if he was sleeping but the look of the pancakes was too much. He looked at the pancakes and then at the door.

"I'm sure Dan won't notice if only one is missing" and with that Phil shoved a whole pancake into his mouth, then one again, and then another, one after the other until...

"Shit, none left...oh well Dan you snooze you lose haha" Phil grinned, but then realized something...Dan...Phil looked at the desk clock beside him and it read 12:30pm...something was wrong, Dan had never stayed in bed for this long, so Phil decided to investigate, he looked down the hall and he could see Dan's bedroom door.

"Dan you still alive in there?" Phil called out jokily convinced that this was just another typical episode of lazy Dan, but he got no reply, so Phil got an idea, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a cup from the top shelf and filled it up with ice cold water, a small grin crept onto his face and he tiptoed back to Dans' bedroom, and quietly opened the door, when suddenly his smile was swept off of his face and he dropped the water completely only to find that Dan really was awake, sobbing away at the bedsheets. Phil had never seen Dan like this, his own best friend, something must of been seriously wrong. Dans hair, was all knotty and ragged, he was as pale as a ghost and he had huge bags under his eyes which were bright red from how much crying he was doing. Phil froze in his place, what on earth was going on? Phil ran up to Dan and sat next to Dan when he placed a comforting arm around him.

" Wo wo buddy...what's up?" Phil asked in a very light and caring tone, but Dan couldn't speak, he was crying to much, so instead, Phil went and got a cold flannel for Dan to put on his head, and then after about 30 minutes...Dan had finally stopped crying.

"Okay, so now you can tell me what's up" Phil stated but Dan only shook his head, in denial, which kind of disheartened Phil a little.

"Oh come on man, we're best friends, there's nothing you can't tell me, i know every little embarrassing detail about you" Phil said laughing a little, he managed to get a small giggle off of Dan, before Dan took a deep breath and went to speak.

"It's nothing okay, I'm fine, i promise...it was just a bad dream as all" Dan lied, only receiving an odd look from Phil.

"Okay you and i both know that you've not been sleeping at all lately and you're really trying to tell me that...all of this...is because of a dream?" Phil asked raising an eye brown at Dan, who only looked down guiltily.

"Exactly...now are you sure you're okay?" Phil added on, Dan nodded and Phil stood back up. It was odd for Dan to not actually tell him something, they were best friends, they knew everything about each other, they were Youtube superstars! and from Dan's videos...to now...there was a big difference, this was a different side of Dan it was like a negative twin almost, but either way Dan needed Phil...and Phil knew that. Phil stood for a few seconds staring at Dan, his best friend in this state.

" I know what you need" Phil stated, Dan then looked up.

"Pizza and the arcade" Phil added excitedly, Dan laughed and nodded at the offer, so with that Dan got up had some breakfast and got dressed, Phil thought he just needed some fun time so they also called their friends Peej and Chris to meet up with them, Phil told them about Dan in the morning and they both became very concerned and determined to give Dan a good day.

As Dan walked into the bathroom and looked at his reflection he was shocked, a secret no one knew, had really got to him...he knew it would eat him up slowly and slowly as days went on. He really wasn't up for going out today, he felt really ill, he was just so pale but he didn't want to bring anyone down, so he took a deep breathe and pulled on some baggy jeans, a bright sky blue top and he brushed his hair so it went straight across his face and to top it off he even wore his llama hat, there was no Dan without his llama hat..EVER. Dan took deep breaths and splashed some water over his face, but he just kept on feeling worse, how much more of this would he have to take. Dan felt him self drifting off in the bathroom, his eyes were getting heavy, he was just about to fall asleep when... there was a loud knock on the bathroom door which quickly snapped him out of it and gave him a shock.

"Come on Dan, Peej and Chris are waiting!" Phil called from the outside, Dan took one more disappointing look at himself before he slumped out of the bathroom and put on his Superman Converse and his black hoody. Phil smiled at him and put his arm around him.

"It'll be okay man what ever it is, everything will get better it always does, remember I'm always here if you need to talk" Phil pointed out, Dan smiled and nodded and the two friends walked outside their flat, going to meet Peej and Chris.

meanwhile.

There was a girl, a girl by the name of Chloe Smith and she was in her teens, she sat home all alone in her bedroom quite a bit. Chloe had bright blue eyes and long straight black hair that was usually kept down and she had her fringe to the side, most of it covering her face, she wore black ripped skinny jeans, black high top converse, a red and black skull top and a MCR (My Chemical Romance) hoodie, she always wore thick black eyeliner and she was quite a pale looking girl. Chloe wasn't happy she never had been, she's never really had parents who care, or even friends, she was alone. When she was born her mum had passed away, and since then she's been brought up by her father who suffered with a broken heart, that then lead to alcohol and drugs, which then lead to violence... Chloe has been scared of her dad ever since, she hated him, she hated the smell of smoke and weed yet that was all she smelt all day in that house, he'd beat her, whenever she left the house her dad made sure he knew where she was incase she'd be running away or going to the police, and if she lied she'd get beaten or even raped... all the screaming, all the bruises and marks, no one ever asked, no one ever cared, she literally had no one because people would judge her as soon as they see her.

"EMO, GOTH, DRUG DEALER, WORTHLESS!" people would shout at her down the road, without even knowing her, you could smell the weed off of her a mile away but that wasn't her fault of course. Chloe also self harms, quite badly at that, so she always wore her elastic bands, headbands, bracelets, anything...but the sad thing is that she would rather be called this by all these different people she didn't even know than get beaten or raped by her father, she had tried to run a away almost a thousand times but her dad would only call his other "friends" and they'd all go out searching for her, and when someone had found her she'd get dragged back home and beaten. If she told anyone or called the police, she would get beaten and immediately moved somewhere, left and maybe even killed. But if she was going to die she didn't want it to be in the hands of her dad, because that would mean he won and she lost, she didn't want him having that, if she goes, she goes her own way, when she's ready. Suicide was on Chloe's mind 24/7 she couldn't let it go, yet everything got to her so easily, she didn't deserve this, she just wanted a friend, a family...a mum, but no...some people can't be helped and she was certain that she was one of those people. Perhaps the reason that she had no friends was because she easily pushed people away, that was something she was good at, but she was very kind, gentle, caring, she wanted to care and help people, but who would put someone in the hands of a "drug dealing emo?" no one, that's who, no one saw past the smell, clothes, scares and her overall appearance...no one...and all she needed and wanted was someone...why was that so hard for her to get?

Chloe woke up on that Friday morning being welcomed by the usual smell of whisky and smoke, and she got ready straight away she really did hate to be there at this house. She decided she needed a job...she sang a little but what good would that do?..she wanted to learn how to play guitar, once when she was out she went past the Tv shop and the music channel is always on so she'd stand there at the window memorizing all the guitar chords, how to strum and everything, she could maybe even pick up a guitar and play it straight away, all she did was write songs, and it was all by ear, but she'd never know if they would work, because she never actually had played guitar or picked one up. She wanted everything to get better someday she wanted to be famous and play her songs on a guitar to millions of people world wide! Chloe got dressed into her usual gear and scurried down the stairs only too...of course...get stopped by her dad.

" Where you goin' girl?" He asked in a low scary voice. Chloe was shaking and she looked up at him, into his eyes.

"The arcade" She replied in a small voice.

"And where are you getting the money from?" he replied pushing her backwards a little.

" I'm not actually going into the arcade I'm going to sit in the Pizza place next to it and watch tv" Chloe replied quickly, she was breathing really quickly now and her dad slowly released his grip and slumped onto the broken down couch. Chloe sighed in relief and left the house as quickly as she could, carefully closing the door behind her, she didn't want to annoy him.

After about 20 minutes of walking she finally got to the arcade, she walked in and found a place to sit in the Pizza place and saw that another stupid football game was on.. England v.s Brazil... Chloe rolled her eyes

"typical" she said to herself, but it was still better than being home. After about 10 minutes she had completely lost interest, she wanted to go into the arcade...but she had no money, so all she could do was sit and stare at all the kids and teens having fun with their friends...why could that not be her? suddenly she looked over to the area where all the claw machines were and she noticed some people, she was sure she had seen them before. It was Phil, Peej and Chris... Chloe's eyes widened, she loved them, she had seen some of their youtube videos and listened while awkwardly looking over someones shoulder in the library, she really did love them they were amazing, she wanted to go say hi, but what would they think? she has no one, they wouldn't want to see her. But she knew someone was missing, she thought hard to try and remember his name...

"Dan" she said to herself...where was he? she looked around and there sitting next to an air hockey machine was Dan...he didn't seem at all like how he was in his videos...Chloe was actually very worried and concerned, she wanted to know what was wrong, she wanted to talk to him, she could help, but she was being held back...by her own self so she sat and watched for a while.

Phil noticed Dan in the corner of his eye.

"Come on Dan, have some fun don't sit there doing nothing all day it may cheer you up" Phil said walking up to Dan. Dan only shook his head. Phil was so worried, he really wanted to know what was up. Phil then went back to join Peej and Chris. Dan felt so ill, he couldn't think straight and he was dizzy, he just wanted to go home, he wanted to sleep, he kept getting more and more pale as each minute came by, his headache was overwhelming, he had to leave, he knew it. So he had made his decision...he stood up and went to leave he didn't even think about telling Phil or the others, he just felt so bad.

"There must be a virus or something going round" Dan said to himself...Chloe was watching all of this it was heartbreaking, Dans friends weren't even noticing. Suddenly Dans vision got worse, and a wave of dizziness struck him, he lost his balance and collapsed to the floor...black out, he had fainted. Chloe's heart was in her mouth, this was it, if his friends didn't notice and no one was going to help, she had to, so with that...she sprinted out to where Dan was and almost lept on Phil.

"PHIL PHIL QUICK YOU NEED TO CALL AN AMBULANCE!" Chloe bellowed completely pulling Phil away from what he was doing, shocked faces came across on Phil, Peej and Chris's faces and Chris quickly pulled out his phone and called an ambulance. Peej went outside so that the ambulance knew where to go and Chloe and Phil ran to Dan's side.

"Dan, yo buddy are you okay?! speak to me, come one, every things okay" Phil begged, but Dan was completely out of it. Phil looked up at Chloe, he had tears in his eyes, and Phil lept onto Chloe and hugged her tightly, which came across as a bit of a shock really, she had never been hugged, did he not care about the smell?

"Shhh, he'll be okay" Chloe whispered.

**DUN DUN DUNNNN okay so there was the first chapter...lets hope Dan is okay! Dx leave a review let me know what you thought of the start of this and i'll update asap...cya guys hope you liked it! XD xx**


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